i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
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Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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