If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
