his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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