He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
