Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
