I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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