"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
