he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
