Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
