It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
