I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
