Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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