Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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