basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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