She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
