I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
