the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
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Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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