We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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