you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Boobs are out for the taking
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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