Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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