the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
