he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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