I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
