Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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