When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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