Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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