Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
