We won't sleep together?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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