I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
