Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
