took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
