ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
