I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
