I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
