I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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