Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is wine microwaveable?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
