that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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