I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
