yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
