TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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