How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
