Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
