I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
