Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
