therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
