This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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