I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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