I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
