We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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