Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
