Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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