Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
