I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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