the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize