Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just blew my weed a kiss
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
