smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
