just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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