oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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