I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
