The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize