Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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